Disaster Blog: Where's My Wallet With All That Money In It?

As I'm sure most of you are aware there was a horrific earthquake in Haiti. I'm going to move on quickly from that because there just isn't alot of comedy in natural disasters where orphans are involved. Except for that awesome Disney Movie Oliver and Company. There was a tsunami in that one right? Well, it was a weak joke and it involved Disney. Sue me.

Like you, I watched the news last night and got pretty weepy, and it wasn't even because Ann Curry was reporting (she hit a panda once, but in her defense she thought...well she just didn't think did she!) All jokes aside, it's terrible what's happened and after watching footage of the devastation in Haiti, I wanted to do my part to help. So I checked my bank account to see what I could send (unlike the popular assumption, I am infact, not heartless). Just as I suspected...$4. This Blog just isn't the cash cow I thought it would be. "Well," I thought, " I guess I'll have to wait to donate."

My change of heart must have angered the telethon gods because they conjured a force that I can't refuse. Not in a million years. No one can. The Gentleman Caller himself:

George Clooney

You're writing checks right now aren't you? George Clooney and MTV are teaming up to do a telethon to benefit Haitian earthquake relief. The telethon will air January 22 and, George Clooney, lucky for you that's pay day. Even if it wasn't I would give plasma, sell a kidney, or steal a baby to make it work. George Clooney, you tell me what I need to do and I'll do it. I don't even need a safe word (pterodactyl).