Lament Blog: NPH, You Look Good in a Suit

I'm currently watching the People's Choice Awards and so far I'm pretty disgusted at what I see. The jokes on the show are really bad...and this is coming from a girl who laughed out loud at the joke "What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam." F you I hadn't heard it before...and I was drunk. It was free bloody mary day on Southwest! What am I supposed to NOT order one?

Tiger Woods jokes? It's like you're not even trying, People's Choice Awards. How are actors so unfunny?

Well, through all the bad jokes, mediocre movies winning awards, and a drunk Mariah Carey, a How I Met Your Mother preview came on and all was right with the world. Until, I remembered that Neil Patrick Harris is gay and will never love me. Now I'm weeping in a corner of my apartment and drinking balsamic vinegar (I didn't have any wine and I figured it was close enough). Turns out it doesn't get you drunk, but it still makes you look like you have wine mouth.

Yeah, dream on all the NOT dudes.

In a perfect world I would be out in a desert in the middle east and I would come across a lamp. I would think to myself, "hmmmm, this lamp looks kinda dirty." Then I would rub it and a holy shit a genie would come flying out! This is my scenario, so the genie will actually be Robert Downy Jr. RDJ will say, "hello beautiful young lady, I'm your genie and I will grant you three wishes."

Yeah I've though about this.

Three wishes:

1. Neil Patrick Harris no longer likes dudes
2. He falls in love with me
3. Well, the genie is RDJ sooooo devil's threesome?

Am I being too greedy? FINE, world peace then.