Advice Blog: Getchu a Turkey

Bowling is the straight up shit. I'm not sure why it's not more popular. I probably wonder this because it's one of the few sports (yes, sport, don't you test me) I'm even decent at. Truthfully, I could mame you in a game of bowling, but I'm just being modest here. It's because I'm a nice person. Just ask anyone who's ever met me. Especially, that stupid teenaged kid I met at my doorstep last Friday night. He probably stole my phone because I looked like a real fucking sweetheart. Fucking punk stupid mother...

Ehem. Yes, bowling right? Sorry, sometimes you can't stop the crazy. For God's sake did you see my last post? No seriously, I'm buying bear mace this weekend so that kid better pray to God I never see him again.

Sooooo...here's the best thing about bowling. You are in complete control. If you have a bad game it's your fault. I'm thinking I might just do this instead of watching sports altogether. Mainly because my sports teams are terrible and all they do is torture me. I'm looking right at you Florida State...

Bowling isn't all fun and games though, especially if you're trying to hit on someone. Here's the advice portion of my blog. If you're planning on making a move...make sure you can actually bowl. This means having the physical ability to stay upright when you bowl. I'm not going to mention any names (Irish), but I know a certain someone (rhymes with fin) who slid right down a bowling lane, got up, looked at the object of her affection and said, "two ciders and a beer and I'm down the pin courts!" Making up the word "pin courts" aside, well, let's just say that didn't exactly lead to an automatic p in the v.