Good Looking Blog: I Like to Look at You

...but please God don't talk...ever.

I couldn't think of anything to write about so I went ahead and starting watching 17 Again. It's a nice little Zac Efron vehicle (for those of you who don't know, he's handsome). While watching it I was reminded of a conversation I had earlier with my buddy Flynn. Oddly enough, it wasn't about sharks, boxed wine, or which Disney movie most accurately portrays high school life.

It was about guys... shocking.

It was about the various times we kept a complete douche around because they were hot. Or we thought they were at the time or whatever. It's not the point. The point is that I remember an exact moment in my life when a guy told me Fuel was one of his favorite bands and I just let it slide. He was cute so I let it slide like it was nothing. Well it's something you guys! So is wearing linen shorts on dates, not being funny, and blaming your emotional problems on your parents' divorce. All separate instances when I just glossed right over dealbreakers and thought "Maybe I can get them to like Top Chef or something?"

Then there's the ex that strolls into town and takes over your life for a weekend. During that time he spends every moment dissecting your life into all the terrible choices you've made (your car is stupid, you can't pick a restaurant, why aren't you richer?, let me pick out what you're going to wear). Why thank you for your noble advice sir, I shant be able to live without it. You know what happens when that hot douchebag comes to town? You get drunk and angry and end up at a place called The Cowboy Lounge. Good things don't happen at a place like that.

These are just a few examples of the kind of people we keep around because we like looking at them. I bet that's why most good looking people are complete assholes.

...of course not you Zac Efron. You have amazing music taste, don't care that I'm poor, and find self deprecating girls super hot. YEAH!

No?

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Hungover Blog: Waterbeds?

It's Saturday and I'm hungover so guess what? I'm writing about fucking waterbeds. They're beds filled with water. No big deal. I know what you're thinking. "oh wow, apparently Meghan finally ran out of vampire stuff to write about." NOPE! Suckas. Watch this show. It's got more hot vampires in it. And Boone from Lost. Again, no big deal. By the way, Ian Somerhalder, if you read this blog (of course you do), I'm buying a waterbed. I bet your likely beautiful and funny girlfriend doesn't have one. Marinate on that.

I'm not sure if it's the hangover or not, but I'm getting pretty seasick just thinking about waterbeds. Are they the pinnacle of douchery? I think they might be. I think the ranking goes 3. thinks Dane Cook is hilarious 2. wears Ed Hardy and 1. owns a waterbed. Oh and pet waterbeds exist. Just in case you want to make sure your dog never gets any action either.

Halloween Blog: This Guy is Kind of a Dick, No?

A lovely fellow in Brooklyn has concocted a great halloween costume. All he needs is that special wingman/double amputee to help him fulfill his hopes and dreams. Sigh...Halloween sure does bring out the best in people. People are more accepting than ever. Usually, a double amputee might have trouble hanging out and meeting people on Halloween, but thanks to this kind gentleman, they're going to be the life of the party. Of course, should the amputee meet that special someone they're shit out of luck. Why? because they'll be hanging from a dude's back!

Does the ad author really think this is a good idea? If you have to preface your ad with "this might be really offensive" then it probably is. I assume he is already in a relationship or has no interest in seeing a girl naked because dressing as Chewbacca with a double amputee strapped to you is not the way to a girl's heart. Some of you that don't think I know everything (morons) might disagree, but I just can't see this going over well at a party. Unless they decide to be slutty Chewbacca and C3PO. If that's the case, I stand corrected.