Wedding Blog: Nice Meeting You?

If I had started this blog before last February I'd have begun singing the praises of weddings a long time ago. The thing is weddings are awesome. A bounty of alcohol (of some sort), sweet dance music, everyone is in a good mood, and alright, there's usually a good amount of single dudes. Oh, and you're always dressed to the nines for a wedding. They're pretty much the perfect storm of parties. Of course, I'm only referring to awesome weddings. I've definitely been to some bad ones, but frankly, any party is saved if the Electric Slide is involved. And I hate to say it, but I've been to weddings that DIDN'T have the Electric Slide. I just can't even tackle that right now.

With that said, one of the good ones was my  friends Julie and Nathan's wedding. I was in it this past weekend and enjoyed every minute. My only regret is that I didn't get any cake. It's a real amateur maneuver on my part. I mean who forgets to get cake. There was chocolate ganache involved! I could have had my cake and eaten it too. I could just kick myself in the face.

Cake mistake aside, I'm fantastic at weddings. I think it's my ability to dance without caring that I'm actually not a good dancer. I see a move like the stanky leg and I say "Psh, I would look awesome doing that!" And you know what. I do. I mean, I couldn't be cooler if I showed up to the wedding with Jay-Z.

Now, I was going to write a whole post giving away all my secrets to kicking ass at being in a wedding, but you know what, I think a girl should have a secret or two. I can't just give away my bridesmaid edge. And let's be honest, I'm probably going to be a bridesmaid at least a dozen more times. My mother gets dates faster than I do. Man, it's in writing now, no turning back.

Forgive me, but I'm going to get on a sappy note. When I was in Kristi and Joe's wedding I think it was so much fun because they were completely enamored and everyone was so happy for them (and also because they played the cupid shuffle). Julie and Nathan were no different, and it was absolutely fantastic to be involved in such a beautiful wedding with such a funny, adorable, loving, and generous couple. They're fantastic dancers too.

Okay, no more sap, here's what you need to know about the last wedding I was in. I looked awesome, I got a little (a lot) too drunk, I'm the greatest dancer ever ( I don't care what you say), and my best (worst) closing line is

"Nice to meet you."

Why are you looking at me like that? Don't think I won't cut you.

Halloween Blog: This Guy is Kind of a Dick, No?

A lovely fellow in Brooklyn has concocted a great halloween costume. All he needs is that special wingman/double amputee to help him fulfill his hopes and dreams. Sigh...Halloween sure does bring out the best in people. People are more accepting than ever. Usually, a double amputee might have trouble hanging out and meeting people on Halloween, but thanks to this kind gentleman, they're going to be the life of the party. Of course, should the amputee meet that special someone they're shit out of luck. Why? because they'll be hanging from a dude's back!

Does the ad author really think this is a good idea? If you have to preface your ad with "this might be really offensive" then it probably is. I assume he is already in a relationship or has no interest in seeing a girl naked because dressing as Chewbacca with a double amputee strapped to you is not the way to a girl's heart. Some of you that don't think I know everything (morons) might disagree, but I just can't see this going over well at a party. Unless they decide to be slutty Chewbacca and C3PO. If that's the case, I stand corrected.