Movie Blog: Hey, Stop All That Oscar Buzz

Are you afraid of flying? Well you should be because Megladon is out there and he will take down your plane like it's his job! He doesn't care that your getting married in two days. He doesn't even care that it's virtually impossible for a shark to jump thousands of feet in the air and take down an effin plane! Nope, he doesn't care because he just took down your plane and showed that giant octopus who's boss.

Not sure what I'm talking about? Oh, I'll tell you. One of the greatest creature features of all time (perhaps only second to Boa vs. Python).

MEGA SHARK VS. GIANT OCTOPUS

This piece of art was shown on SyFy on Saturday afternoon. I hope they plan to show it many more times. If you're wondering why I was watching this movie instead of my Alma Mater getting destroyed by our arch rival, I'll tell you. It's because football is dead to me. And just to get this off my chest, Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson are an embarrssment to sports commentating, and should be tarred and feathered by the good people of Tallahassee, Florida.

So, you're probably wondering about the scene I described above. I'll get there don't you worry. In the meantime, you should know that Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus stars Deborah Gibson, Lorenzo Lamas, and a (sort of) Irish dude. He says the word lassie so I guess he's legit. Also, there's nothing like giant prehistoric sea creatures to put a little romance in science. While working night and day to get some sort of liquid to glow, our heroine takes her male, japanese counterpart and gets hers in a closet. Huz-zah. Who knew telling a story about a struggling dolphin in a fishing net was such a turn on. This blogger, that's who.

Wanna watch a shark take down a commercial jet? Of course you do.

Sigh, Mega Shark is like the Marlon Brando of creature features. He just makes it look so easy. Someone get that shark a treat. Maybe Verne Lundquist and Gary Danielson?

Women's Rights Blog: Does Brazil Shop at The Gap?

A Brazillan college student was recently expelled for wearing a mini-dress to class. Amid a barrage of insults she was escorted out of class and eventually asked to leave the university.

  Geisy Arruda, look at her, a regular trollop.

Sooooo, in Brazil the college dudes DON'T like it when the chicks are skanky? I have to take a minute here. I'm a little confused that a country whose namesake was given to an all hands on deck this is gonna hurt hoo-ha wax would have a problem with a girl in a mini-dress. I mean it has sleeves.

UPDATE

Apparently Bandeirante (pronounce that, I dare you) University has decided not to expel the girl in the pink dress. Maybe they took a tour of Florida State University and decided that a long sleeved short dress wasn't the worst thing a girl could wear to class. Even the smart/prudish chicks dressed a little skanky at FSU. They just added glasses so you got that nerdy/whorish vibe. I never did that though. I also never started a gigantic foam party in a fountain in the middle of Landis Green using the identity of a midwestern girl named Schenectady. There also wasn't a recorder, a kuzoo, and a guy that looked like John Lennon involved either.

So shut your stupid mouth.

3 Hours in the Dallas Airport

It's cold in this airport. I mean really cold. I'm on my third cup of coffee just to keep normal body temperature.

I easily found the gate for Ft. Myers because it has the highest concentration of elderly people and these...




Jorts baby! Come on Gators...get up and...fuck you gators. Forgive the blurry picture but it was already weird taking a picture of a random's backside let alone asking them to stand still. Even as I'm writing this I see another pair of jorts. What the hell Dallas...what the hell.

OK I've waited long enough. I'm going to the bar.