Eating Blog: Here's a Flowchart to Help You

No wedding blog yet. It's being drafted so everyone just calm down. In the meantime, you all know how I feel about fast food. Well, I'm a vegetarian now, so alas my fast food eating has definitely decreased. Don't you worry though, you can still get a 7 layer burrito at Taco Bell. That shit is vegetarian, I googled it.

Thank God.

So, do you get really confused when it comes to making decisions? Would you rather have a chart when deciding the appropriate time to put 1,000 calories into your body? Do you live in Canada (yeah right)?

Well, I have just the thing.

The fine folks at http://www.eatingtheroad.wordpress.com/ have done all the work for you! Just break out this chart the next time you're too drunk/hungover to make the call yourself. To be totally honest though, the lack of Whataburger on this chart is seriously disturbing. And where the F is Guthrie's? I don't think someone in Canada could even handle Guthries' special sauce. Oh man, I think this vegetarianism is starting to get to me. Last night I had a dream I ate a cheeseburger, and it was more satisfying than the dream about Taylor Lautner. I mean that's gross, he's totally too young. Ehem.

Crime Blog: Dang It! We Should've Used Jungle Green

I know it's hard to tell with their faces so well covered, but two white males were recently picked up for attempted burglary in Iowa. Matthew McNelly and Joey Miller were caught breaking into an apartment building by one of the neighbors and arrested shortly thereafter. Can we discuss what a great last name McNelly is? Another fine example of Irish ingenuity. So instead of masks- maybe that was too cliché so close to Halloween- they decided to use permanent marker to cover up their features. Or maybe that's the last time they get too drunk the night before a robbery and pass out first. That’s a real amateur maneuver on their part. Everyone knows too much whiskey and you'll end up sexually assaulting a stuffed snake at a Halloween store after it rejects you. I mean after it jumps out at you. I mean ummmm...because it attacked you first. Oh man.