Airport Blog: Oh Hai Houston!

For some reason my travels lately have required a couple of brief stops in Texas. Today, I'm in Houston. The birthplace of the Accidental Blogger. That's right, on April 25, 1981, my mother gave birth to a baby so large that they thought I was twins. The doctor thought my butt was an entirely separate baby. And you wonder why I have such high self esteem.

I'm attempting to take in the State of Texas while walking through the Houston Airport.

Here's what I have so far:

1) The people aren't nearly as fat as I assumed they were. Everyone says Houston is full of fatties. I thought I was going to exit the plane and find the last five seasons of The Biggest Loser all sitting together eating ribs. Well they aren't. I had spaghetti for lunch.

2) Texas likes to take things that already exist and rename them to make them more Texas-y. I just left a chocolate shop where a company took some chocolate caramel clusters and called them Longhorns. Naturally, I bought some and immediately put five in my mouth. To support Texas of course.

3) Oh hey a bar!

Eating Blog: Here's a Flowchart to Help You

No wedding blog yet. It's being drafted so everyone just calm down. In the meantime, you all know how I feel about fast food. Well, I'm a vegetarian now, so alas my fast food eating has definitely decreased. Don't you worry though, you can still get a 7 layer burrito at Taco Bell. That shit is vegetarian, I googled it.

Thank God.

So, do you get really confused when it comes to making decisions? Would you rather have a chart when deciding the appropriate time to put 1,000 calories into your body? Do you live in Canada (yeah right)?

Well, I have just the thing.

The fine folks at http://www.eatingtheroad.wordpress.com/ have done all the work for you! Just break out this chart the next time you're too drunk/hungover to make the call yourself. To be totally honest though, the lack of Whataburger on this chart is seriously disturbing. And where the F is Guthrie's? I don't think someone in Canada could even handle Guthries' special sauce. Oh man, I think this vegetarianism is starting to get to me. Last night I had a dream I ate a cheeseburger, and it was more satisfying than the dream about Taylor Lautner. I mean that's gross, he's totally too young. Ehem.