Wedding Blog: Yeah Fucking Right

You are formally invited to the wedding of
Ms. Ashley Tisdale to Mr. Kyle Schimdt
The ceremony will be held at the Cathedral in Kyle's head
on the 11th day of fucking never.
The lovely couple is registered at Bath, Bed, and Beyond.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the delusional marriage between Kyle Schmidt and Ashley Tisdale. How do I know Kyle is young? Becuase he wants to bone marry one of the chicks from High School Musical. Although, I wouldn't knock that Zack Efron out of bed so I guess that makes me young at heart. *coughs*

Ahhh young love. I remember when I wanted to marry Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Yeah JTT and I could've really been something. That whole "celebrity thing" and "not knowing who I am" really got in the way of our relationship. He's an amazing actor though. Remember when he was in The Lion King. He was the baby lion. Sigh...meOW.

Irritational Blog Hatred: I'll Shank You for a Quarter Pounder

Have you ever seen something so beautiful?

I don't like people that don't like fast food. There I said it. When I meet a new person and the words " Oh, I don't eat fast food" come out of their mouth. That's it, we're never going to be friends. We're never going to be friends because I HATE them. I hate them because they think they're better than me because they don't eat fast food which is completely ludacris (yeah the rapper). They're missing out on a plethora of deliciousness just to make themselves feel better. They're missing chicken nuggets, french fries, various versions of the cheeseburger, a milkshake or two, and the entire Taco Bell menu. I just can't get down with that.

Ashley Tisdale gets Fast Food and look how happy she is.

No? Actually I just remembered I don't like this girl because she's skinny and famous.

Whatever, I can see her muffin top from here. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go watch The Biggest Loser and build my self esteem back up. Oops! There goes my pants button. Son of a...