Assassination Blog: I bet George Clooney was in on it

That sneaky salt and peppered minx.

I was going to be a secret agent once, but then a job at Coldstone Creamery opened up and what was I supposed to do? I took that shit. Where do you think I honed my karaoke skills?

Naturally, I regret my decision because if you're a secret agent you do cool things like assassinations. You could impress people with that job. And I'm not just talking about your average ginger here. Do you think George Clooney gets all those hot chicks because he's a "famous actor?" Well, if you do I can't blame you. He's a great spy. Probably the best. I'd let that guy go all Dexter on me anyday. Wait...

Authorities in Dubai are looking for the assassins (great musical, by the way) of Hamas chief Mahmoud Mabhouh. He was killed last month when several trained assassins (I'm going to keep saying it) smothered him in his hotel room. They were in disguises! Wigs and everything! Maybe John Cusack was in on it too. If I had known spies were actually that theatrical I would have turned down that Coldstone job and bought myself a sweet black jumpsuit.

Here's how you do it. Clean.