Crush Blog: Who Needs Actual Success?

Not this Blogger.

Did anyone notice the Chinese comment I recieved in my last post? You see blog readers, love really does conquer all boundaries. Or maybe, it's just that the Chinese also get how horrifying dating is.

So I've got a plan. I've decided I'm just going to have alot of crushes. It's way easier if you never actually talk to dudes. That way several scenarios can be avoided. For example, they won't have to awkwardly laugh when you make a weird joke about your cat controlling your social calendar (yeah, that happened). OR, I won't ever have to pretend I'm okay with hearing the word "Dave" when I ask a guy what kind of music they listen to.

Yeah, I'm going to stick with not knowing their real names and calling them by the names I've given them. Like Capitol Ginger Boyfriend or Gym Boyfriend (That one's from college, do you think I go to the gym?). In addition, I'll form abnormally high expectations for these guys so that if we ever actually speak, I'll immediately be dissappointed.

But the real plus of having fake crushes is that it makes you dress better. I'm convinced I need to look good everyday just in case I run into Oil and Gas Boyfriend that I've never talked to before. And you never know, maybe someday you'll meet some sucker that's doesn't have a nick name yet, and is completely ok with cat joke or two. Yeah

Return From Christmas Vacation Blog: Farts

I've returned from the elderly and humid state of Florida to the young and spry state of Colorado. Hey, guess what productive things I've done since I've been back. Slept, watched TV, and, naturally, I've killed at some karaoke. Have I unpacked? No. Have I cleaned my house? Nope. Did I order $19 worth of Thai food so I wouldn't have to leave my apartment today? Yes. Am I on msn.com right now reading bartender tips on how to pick up someone in a bar? Yes. Will I ever be successful in utilizing these tips? Define success.

Well, I did pay a parking ticket today so I got that going for me.