Back by Popular Demand Blog: It was Literally One Person

Okay, you win adoring fan.

I'm writing this blog again. I stopped last year because I figured I was about to become very important in my real job. As most of you likely assumed, that was not the case. Therefore I've decided to return to the blogging community (me and Jake Fogelnest I guess). I have a twitter account now so this shit is obviously gonna blow worldwide.

I mean let's think about this. How many people really have the skills to be a hilarious writer (probably everyone)? I should really be sharing this gift with the world and I've shirked my responsibilities. For that, I'm sorry. Terrible things have happened in the last year and I haven't been there to make snarky comments. It's an embarrassment for me and my family. Except my aunt who refuses to read because I say fuck too much. I don't get it. How else am I going to describe panda bears fucking? I will not use "penetration", "penis and vagina", or "making love." That shit is gross and not for the eyes of the internet.

So email me some ideas to write about and I'll continue to think of creative ways to insert my opinion using clever comparisons and references to hot guys.

Let's do this.

Fancy Blog: It's Almost Too Legit

You see this. It's the new accidental blog. It's like the heavens opened up and showed me the right blog template. Like the whole world just faded away and it was just me and Minima. That's my template's name. I call the new template by his first name because we're that close. And yeah, he's a dude. A hot one. A hot black dude that likes indie rock music. He's a doctor too, no big deal. Minima's pretty much perfect, and with his help I can write awesomeness like this. Yeah that's right, someday I'll be published in McSweeney's too. It's okay if you don't believe me because I don't need you anymore. As long as I have Minima I can do anything! It's me and him against the world.


UPDATE: That's not true blog readers. I need you like an oreo needs the cream. Double Stuf.